Long-term Travel Isn’t Always Unicorns and Rainbows

Finding my own brand of misfits in Kansas

Releasing myself from my inner twelve-year-old

A big concern about following my dream to live in Europe was that I would be lonely and I wouldn’t make any friends.  When I voiced this fear to friends, I was humbled at their astonished responses. “Christina, you make friends where ever you go! What are you worried about?” Objectively, I can see that truth, but I haven’t convinced my inner twelve-year-old. So when Stacy said that she would join me on this grand adventure, I was thrilled to have an accomplice to explore with and slay ghosts of pariah past.

Plus, we’re both going through a lot of shit.

• We’re used to living alone. We miss our private spaces and our own beds.
• I typically spent 5 out of 7 evenings socializing with different friends.
• Stacy is a solitary person who lets a privileged few visit her outer fortress on her own terms and time.
• Stacy has only recently transformed her childhood home into her private oasis.
• I have no home to return to. The place that I poured my time, money, and love into is no longer mine and I have no surrogate place to transfer those feelings to.
• I have thin eyelids that don’t allow me to sleep when the sun creeps in.
• Stacy treasures her sleep and has trained her friends and family to not disturb Herself before noon on weekends.
• I exclaim enthusiastically when I experience something I enjoy and want to share.
• Stacy prefers stoicism.
• I am a planner.
• Stacy prefers to go with the flow.
• We’ve both been taught that you don’t leave a job before you have a new one.
• We have no idea when we’ll be making money again or what we’ll be doing to make it.
• We miss our pets and friends and family and don’t know when we’ll see them again.
• We’re both already tired of searching for the next place we’ll stay after the current one.
• There’s no avoiding the “What should we do for dinner?” question no matter where you are in the world.  😜

This adds up to a recipe for tension, misdirected feelings, irritation, and strife. My instinct was to avoid talking about the tough stuff. Open communication about conflict was nearly nonexistent in my past relationships. In my marriage, I learned that dialogue about disagreements never paid off.  Better to swallow those feelings and thoughts than let them be twisted against me.  Thankfully, at Stacy’s insistence, we have had remarkably constructive conversations. Stacy won’t let that happen. “Christina, if we can’t talk about these things, they’re just going to fester.” Already, I can see noticeable improvements in the way that we interact.  It’s going to take work, but just cracking open the window of free interchange is damn refreshing – even when it’s hard.